Discipline is one of the most challenging things divorced parents go through. It can be difficult to punish a child when you don’t live in the same house. But despite this, you can raise a disciplined child.
Here is how you can do this:
Have an open discussion about household rules
When discussing co-parenting matters, do not overlook household rules. What rules will your child observe in both homes?
While you and your ex-spouse don’t need to create similar homes, consider reiterating household rules regarding safety, chores, manners, routines, physical behavior, emotional behavior, diet and so on. For example, their bedtime should be similar in the two homes.
You and your co-parent can change rules when necessary, for example when your child gets older or when you realize a particular rule is ineffective.
Respecting each other’s discipline measures
If your co-parent disciplines your child, you should support their approach. Telling your child you disagree with the punishment can undermine the other parent’s authority. If you disagree with the approach, let your co-parent know and find common ground.
Both of you should discipline your child
It’s not uncommon for one parent to leave discipline to the other, especially after a divorce, as it can be tempting for a parent to want to be the favorite. However, to have successful co-parenting, both parents should be disciplinarians. Your child should be on their best behavior in the two homes.
If your co-parent is a non-disciplinarian, don’t overcompensate by being too strict. Instead, talk to them to be on the same page. Overcompensating for the other parent’s leniency can create two homes that are extremely different, which can confuse your child.
Disciplining your child after divorce can be complicated but possible. Learn more to make informed decisions.