Law Office of William A. KochLaw Office of William A. Koch2024-03-12T13:19:18Zhttps://www.wkochlaw.com/feed/atom/WordPress/wp-content/uploads/sites/1501919/2021/02/cropped-William-A-Koch-fav-icon-32x32.pngOn Behalf of Law Office of William A. Kochhttps://www.wkochlaw.com/?p=470062024-03-12T13:19:18Z2024-03-12T13:19:18ZWhat should you keep in mind if you’re considering vacationing together?
Of course, this kind of arrangement is not for everyone. Former spouses (and anyone else they’re bringing along) need to have an amicable relationship. Vacations can be stressful even for happily married couples. Besides an amicable relationship and plenty of room, what else is required to make a family vacation with divorced parents work? Consider taking the following proactive steps:
Determine ahead of the trip how expenses will be divided.
Work out how child care responsibilities will be split if your children are still young.
Figure out how you’ll divide taking the kids to see particular sights or engage in particular activities.
Make sure your children don’t get the wrong message. Young children, in particular, can assume that a shared experience means that their parents are getting back together.
Start slowly
Finally, it’s probably best to start out with a short getaway like a long weekend to make sure it can work. You don’t want your first post-divorce family vacation to be a two-week Caribbean trip in case it just doesn’t work out like you envisioned.
If family vacations are something you think you’ll be doing on a somewhat regular basis, it can help to put an agreement in place to codify a few things like expenses and parenting time. It might be necessary to adjust your child custody and support orders as well. It may be worth getting some legal guidance to determine if that would be helpful.]]>On Behalf of Law Office of William A. Kochhttps://www.wkochlaw.com/?p=470052024-02-26T21:42:36Z2024-02-26T21:42:36ZDevelop a safety plan
If you’re in this position, creating a safety plan that includes safe places to stay, a list of essential contacts and an escape route from the home is important. It is also advisable to rehearse the escape plan and keep a packed bag with essential items, including identification, money, keys and important documents in a secure, quickly accessible location.
Secure financial independence
Financial independence is crucial for leaving an abusive marriage. If possible, open a bank account only in your name and save money discreetly. Understand your financial situation and how it will work in your new, single life. This can help you build a foundation for life after the split.
Build a support network
You need a strong support system when you leave. This can include family members, friends and professionals who can assist with various parts of the divorce, if possible. If not, community resources can be helpful. You’ll also need someone to help with the legal aspects of the divorce.
Consulting with a legal professional who understands domestic violence and family law can provide clarity on your rights and the legal steps necessary for separation or divorce. It’s possible to consult with someone for legal assistance before you leave the marriage. This can give you an idea of how things may go during divorce. Make sure to make contact in a way that isn’t easily traceable by your partner.]]>On Behalf of Law Office of William A. Kochhttps://www.wkochlaw.com/?p=470042024-02-11T16:01:59Z2024-02-11T16:01:59Zwhen the kids have vacation time. The summer, in particular, can be problematic, as the children will still need looking after during this considerable break from their normal routine.
Be prepared to keep your plans flexible
While most of the year might adhere to a set pattern, say you will have the kids Monday to Thursday, and they will go with your ex Friday through Sunday, holidays may work best if you alter that schedule to some degree. Being flexible with your co-parent makes it more likely they will be flexible with you – whether that is helping you out by taking the kids for an extra day or allowing you to take them away when it’s not your turn.
Give each other permission to take the kids away
If you want to travel far with the kids, you will need the other parent’s permission. Without it, you could find a police officer across state lines asking awkward questions or a border agency official refusing to let you board a flight. Make sure to outline the process you’ll follow regarding holiday travel in your parenting plan accordingly.
Consider staggering your time off
If you can elect when to take time off work, then consider taking it at different times than each other. Say you take the first week of the summer break off, and your soon-to-be ex-spouse books the last week. That’s a week less you each need to worry about childcare during the longest break of the year. Making these plans part of your parenting plan can help everyone to know what to expect.
Courts want to see two parents doing what is best for their children. If you can come up with a plan that demonstrates this kind of effort, then a judge should be happy to sign off on it.]]>On Behalf of Law Office of William A. Kochhttps://www.wkochlaw.com/?p=470022024-01-30T23:32:15Z2024-01-30T23:32:15ZChildren are resilient
Children’s reactions to divorce change over time. At first, they might be defiant against their parents, allow their academics to suffer, and become rebellious. However, over time, most children will begin figuring out their new normal, particularly if they have the love and support of at least one of their parents. Because children are resilient, they will learn to adapt to changes.
You can be an example for the children
Your children are always watching and learning from the way act and how you handle emotions. If they see you overcoming the emotional struggles of divorce and working together with their other parent, they can learn how to deal with difficult situations. This is why it might not always be the best option to stay in a struggling relationship since the environment might be an emotionally unhealthy one that creates stress and anxiety for the kids.
Have a plan for moving forward with life
Once you and your spouse have decided to divorce, you will need to let the children know. Set a time and place to have this important conversation with the children to discuss issues including:
The changes that the family will experience, such as new living arrangements
The ways things will remain the same, such as children’s afterschool activities and routines
Your commitment and support as co-parents to the children
While navigating a divorce with children might be difficult at first, remember that over time, both you and your children will be able to adapt and become stronger. Be honest with your children about the emotions and the changes but reassure them that you will both overcome them.]]>On Behalf of Law Office of William A. Kochhttps://www.wkochlaw.com/?p=470002024-01-19T15:36:39Z2024-01-19T15:36:39ZCommunicating with in-laws
In some divorces, the spouses want little to do with their former in-laws. However, when children are involved, this is not always the case. In-laws might take sides during the divorce, which can make relationships contentious or awkward. A divorce can affect in-laws because they may be accustomed to seeing their children's spouses at family gatherings, and now they are not there. It takes effort, but it is possible to put animosity and differences aside. This can show children the importance of maintaining strong, healthy family relationships.
Communicating with grandparents
According to California Family Code §1300-3105, grandparents can petition for visitation time with their children under certain conditions. If the children are accustomed to spending time with both sets of grandparents, it’s beneficial for all involved to set up regular visitation time to see the grandparents. If an amicable arrangement can be made, this could be preferable to going through the legal process of the grandparents trying to get visitation.
Communicating with the ex-spouse
Figuring out how to communicate with your ex-spouse becomes one of the most complex relationships to navigate. Several factors related to divorce influence this relationship's dynamics. Extreme animosity or an abusive relationship can make maintaining a friendship with your ex impossible and could lead to further bad behavior.
Even if the breakup is amicable, transitioning from a romantic relationship to a friendship doesn't always succeed. However, if you have children with your ex, you must establish a relationship for the child's benefit. This involves discussing parenting time, school events and medical issues.
Prioritize your children
Divorcing couples often become engrossed in their own interests and lose sight of their children's best interests. However, when parents prioritize their children, they find it easier to set aside personal differences and maintain relationships that matter to everyone involved.]]>On Behalf of Law Office of William A. Kochhttps://www.wkochlaw.com/?p=469992024-01-09T03:51:08Z2024-01-09T03:51:08ZSticking to routines
Chances are, your life revolves around some time of routine. For example, many people have a work schedule to follow with their spare time squared away for other activities. However, you might be unaware that routines are also vital for children. Consistent schedules let your child feel a sense of stability, even when big changes are happening with their parents.
Establishing a co-parenting plan
Another powerful part of a child-centered divorce is a co-parenting plan. This plan allows parents to set up detailed schedules regarding visitations, communication plans, and who's responsible for child-related decisions.
Watching what you say
No matter how agreeable your divorce proceedings are, having negative feelings about your former spouse is understandable. And while it's good to vent your frustrations and feelings about this person, avoid doing that in front of your child. Your child needs to view each of their parents as a good person, which is difficult if they hear negative things about their parents.
Attending a child's special events
Children often find themselves involved in everything from school plays and talent shows to sports games or intellectual competitions. In a child-centered divorce, both parents typically attend any event a child would want them present for. This doesn't mean their parents must arrive together or sit with each other.
As a backup plan, it's worth considering having a mediator or other neutral third party available. This person or people can help resolve disputes between you and your ex-spouse as they arise during a child-centered divorce.]]>On Behalf of Law Office of William A. Kochhttps://www.wkochlaw.com/?p=469972023-12-19T17:35:50Z2023-12-19T17:35:50ZEffects during divorce
Some mental health disorders can manifest in multiple ways. For example, a person with depression might struggle to complete basic tasks to move the divorce forward while an individual with borderline personality disorder, panicked at the notion of being abandoned at the end of a marriage, might make false accusations against their spouse. People who struggle with their mental health might want to seek extra support during this time.
What to do
It is important for people going through a divorce to remember that they must comply with restraining orders even if they are based on false accusations. There are certain things an individual can do to protect themselves if the other spouse has mental health issues. These include documenting all unusual interactions, making sure to meet only in public so that there are witnesses to any altercations and making note of any hospitalizations or other incidents during or prior to the relationship that could be relevant to demonstrating the person's issues. Working with a therapist can also help in better understanding the situation and developing tools to manage it. If children are involved, parents should do their best to focus on what is in their best interests.
As difficult as divorce can be, mental health issues can make it harder. Individuals in this situation should try to avoid responding to their spouse in emotional ways and focus instead on solutions.]]>On Behalf of Law Office of William A. Kochhttps://www.wkochlaw.com/?p=469952023-12-06T23:47:13Z2023-12-06T23:47:13ZLearn about your financial situation
Before you start the divorce process, you should become knowledgeable about your financial situation. This is very important if you were unaware of how your finances worked during your marriage. To prepare for this, you can do several things, including:
Listing all your assets and debts
Finding out the value of your home
Consulting with a financial advisor to guide you through the process
Gathering copies of important documents
Figure out what you will need financially to support yourself after the divorce
You will need to create a realistic budget for life post-divorce. For this, you should track your expenses for a certain amount of time to identify your needs versus your luxuries. You might need to adjust after the divorce, such as moving to a smaller home or giving up some luxuries, even if temporarily, and these should be accounted for in the budget.
Negotiate carefully during the division of property
Negotiating over your assets and debts is not just about the moment. As part of your negotiation, you should consider the long-term effects of the division of these assets, including what they might be worth in five or 10 years and the tax implications involved with each decision. This way, you can reach an agreement that is fair and favorable.
Recovering financially from a gray divorce involves educating yourself about your finances, planning and being flexible about what life will be like after the divorce. You might need to learn a new skill, polish old ones, and rejoin the workforce.]]>On Behalf of Law Office of William A. Kochhttps://www.wkochlaw.com/?p=469932023-11-21T03:32:09Z2023-11-21T03:32:09ZSell the house
Many divorcing couples choose to sell their residence. The proceeds from the sale should payoff the mortgage. If any money is left over, you and your ex-spouse can divide the proceeds along with your other financial holdings.
Keep the house as a shared investment property
In some situations, people decide to keep the jointly held property and rent it out. The rental income should cover the mortgage and maintenance. You retain the option to sell it and split the proceeds at any point in the future.
This option includes some risk if both of you are named on the home loan. If one person misses mortgage payments, then the credit scores of both owners suffer.
Refinance the home in one person's name
If a lender is willing to approve you for a home loan on your single income, you could refinance the original mortgage as your sole debt. This transaction would require that your ex-spouse relinquish ownership by signing a quit-claim deed.
However, refinancing the remaining debt as your sole responsibility does not settle the equity in the home. Any value in the property above your debt represents equity, and your ex-spouse has a right to half of that value. You would have to offer other funds or assets in exchange for retaining ownership of the home's equity or obtain a cash-out refinance that lends you the money to pay out the equity share.]]>On Behalf of Law Office of William A. Kochhttps://www.wkochlaw.com/?p=469912023-11-07T04:38:32Z2023-11-07T04:38:32ZWhy is executive compensation so common?
Employee stock plans and other forms of executive compensation serve to help companies:
Retain top talent
Encourage productivity
Increase more
Motivate workers
These incentives offer more value in divorce settlement than many realize. The more knowledgeable a spouse is about these benefits, the better the chances of a beneficial settlement.
How do companies reward executives with stock?
A popular incentive is to buy company stock on a future date using the initial issuing price. However, vesting periods often apply for 1-5 years, during which an employee may not exercise the options.
Many experts caution executives and their spouses about catches to this compensation. For example, gains from these stock options involve taxation as ordinary income.
Taxes have more of an impact than many realize during divorce negotiations. Expert advice about exercising stock options goes a long way in making wiser decisions.
Why use caution with divorce and executive compensation?
A more common kind of executive compensation is restricted stock awards. These kinds of payments also have vesting periods, and employees who leave may even forfeit their rights.
Vesting schedules may impact how much you can claim as marital property. Cliff vesting involves a designated number of years, while graded vesting involves a percentage for each year worked.
Division of assets requires care
Sometimes, employers do not allow the division of transfer of stock. The use of constructive trust is one option.
Executive compensation is a part of many divorce negotiations. Knowing as much about your options as possible makes a difference.]]>