You love your children, and you love the idea of spending some uninterrupted quality time with them over summer vacation on a special trip you’ve planned.
You may not love the idea, however, of sharing your vacation itinerary with your ex-spouse – but you should do it anyway. Even though it may feel intrusive to have to discuss your vacation plans with your ex, doing so can be essential for preserving a good co-parenting relationship. Here’s why:
1. It offers peace of mind for your co-parent
Even though you’re perfectly capable of taking care of your children, it’s only natural for your co-parent to worry when the kids are away. By sharing your itinerary and making sure that your co-parent can contact the children while they’re on vacation, you can ease a lot of fears. Then, when the shoe is on the other foot, you can reasonably request the same courtesies.
2. It prevents misunderstandings about the schedule
Sharing itineraries allows both you and your ex to plan around the children’s schedule and any important dates, making it easier to coordinate transitions and adjustments in the normal parenting plan, when necessary. Early communication about the plans gives you time to work out any issues and find compromises.
3. It provides more safety for the children
What if something happens to you while you’re on the trip? Would your children automatically know what to do? If there’s an emergency, your children are safer if their other parent has all the information they need to reach them.
4. It may be legally required
Finally, your custody agreement may require you to share your vacation plans and itinerary with your co-parent. If you’re leaving the state with the kids, you may even be required to get your co-parent’s permission. You don’t want to end up back in court over a custody dispute because you failed to comply with the orders.
Co-parenting after divorce is a learning experience for both parents and children. By demonstrating cooperation, respect and consideration for your co-parent, you set a positive example for your children – and you may also avoid ongoing legal battles.