Parents who aren’t in a romantic relationship any longer will still have to deal with each other as they raise their children. This can sometimes come with frustration, but neither parent should allow that frustration to lead to them badmouthing the other parent.
When parents badmouth each other, the situation can quickly get out of hand. The children will likely start to suffer because they can feel the tension and may internalize the statements they hear their parents making.
Kids listen more than you think
Children are incredibly perceptive. Even if they don’t understand every word, they pick up on tone and side comments. Hearing one parent talk negatively about the other puts them in an impossible position. It creates confusion, loyalty conflicts and emotional stress—especially if they feel pressured to choose sides.
Your child didn’t ask for the breakup. Their emotional well-being depends on having healthy relationships with both parents. When one parent tears down the other, it chips away at that foundation and can affect the child’s sense of safety and identity.
It can backfire in custody and co-parenting
Family courts strongly favor arrangements that encourage positive co-parenting. If one parent consistently speaks poorly about the other or undermines their authority, it could impact parenting time or decision-making rights. Judges often view this behavior as a form of emotional harm to the child.
Badmouthing can also create a hostile environment that’s not conducive to co-parenting. A big part of co-parenting is being able to compromise on things related to the children, but that can be impossible if there’s any animosity between you and your ex.
It may be beneficial to spell out what’s acceptable in the parenting plan. Working with someone familiar with creating these plans may make it easier to determine exactly what to include.