Leaving an abusive spouse is scary and typically involves a highly contentious divorce. However, if the abuse wasn’t reported or didn’t involve the children, the judge is likely to grant parenting time to the other parent.
That means you need to meet with your abusive ex-spouse during custody exchanges, putting yourself in a precarious situation. Fortunately, there are safer options.
Keeping you and your children safe
When dealing with an abusive ex-partner, custody exchanges can devolve into verbal abuse, threats or physical violence. For children witnessing the behavior, the long-term emotional impact can be significant. And it seems that the media has been reporting more incidents of violence during these exchanges.
Supervised custody exchanges can offer a layer of protection. The structured process minimizes contact between co-parents and ensures there’s accountability if either party behaves inappropriately.
Supervised exchanges typically take place at a neutral monitored site, such as a family center. In addition, police stations have been increasingly promoting their parking lots as a safe haven for child custody exchanges.
During the exchange, a neutral third party handles the handoff, so the exchange is focused on the child rather than the parental tension. They can also provide documentation regarding both parents’ behavior, which can be used for reference during legal proceedings.
Many times, the court will order supervised child custody exchanges. Other times, you may need to request supervision, especially under the following conditions:
- History of abuse or threats
- Continued attempts at control or intimidation
- Frequent arguments during exchanges
- Your child feels unsafe during custody exchanges
If you feel your situation warrants supervised custody exchanges, you should document any incidents of abuse, threats or unsafe behavior. Work with someone who can help you navigate the court process and advocate on your behalf. Being free from fear and intimidation during exchanges will help you be a better parent to your child.