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How to handle kids blaming you for divorce

On Behalf of | Apr 4, 2023 | Divorce |

The dissolution of a marriage doesn’t only impact the former spouses; children often face emotional turmoil during and after a divorce. In those moments, it’s common for divorced parents in California to deal with their children lashing out at them. If your kids are blaming you for the upheaval they’re dealing with, remember these tips.

Be transparent with your kids

Parents often feel like they have to “act strong” for their children, and there is certainly a time for that. However, it’s also a good idea to be transparent with your children in some cases. Let your kids know that you’re not happy about the divorce either and that you understand their pain.

Remember their age

Teenagers deal with a myriad of hormonal shifts and emotions on a daily basis. The process of divorce often amplifies those feelings. Try to remember that your kids are kids, and they don’t understand the most intimate details of why your marriage ended.

Don’t fight back

While you don’t have to let your kids verbally abuse you, it’s important that you avoid the temptation to argue with them. When your child lashes out and blames you for the divorce, you can let them know that things are not that simple, but you shouldn’t fight with them. You can be understanding while still setting some boundaries.

Be a stabilizing force

Divorce creates a host of questions for children as they’re forced to deal with a new normal. When they lash out in anger, it’s usually because they’re scared. Let your kids know that everything will be alright, even if things are different.

Dealing with angry children is one of the most difficult parts of going through a divorce. These tips can help make a rough patch a little smoother.